Monday (the) Morning (after).

Nothing gives a girl a fresh surge of energy than a hot cup of cappuccino on a monday morning...mmmm...I need to get a nice dose of it before I kick off. Yep! I'm gonna be productive today.=)

Anyway, the weekend that passed was very pleasant. Although I had a hangover yesterday (whoa never had an HO for the longest time), it was nonetheless very nice, and as I quote my friend "it was one for the books."

I had an epiphany. I just mistook everything. Remember my last post about being ALL IN? Apparrently, I realized that I'm not into him. I prayed about it, and for some magical reason He let things unfold in front of me. God is really good. I have no regrets. I'm really grateful because I let Him do His work, and I observed myself, my reactions, my feelings, what I think, etc. while giving it a chance.

I may not be making sense in articulating how I feel in this journal, but I really feel that it is all making sense to me now.

Nothing can make me kick my shoes off, start anything that I am supposed to be doing but left unattended coz of my confusion, but a nice dose of Clarity.=)

As for me, after 4 years and counting, I'm still going to wait for the fireworks and lightning...while seeing the person clearly, not just superficially. I'd be a little careful though with living prophylactically and doing fire prevention coz I might miss my OTL.=)

Great Monday to everyone! God Bless.

You earn your living by working, you earn your life by giving. - George L. Graziadio

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. - Oprah

Disturb me, Lord, when my dreams come true, only because I dreamed too small. Disturb me when I arrive safely, only because I sailed too close to the shore. Disturb me when the things I have gained cause me to lose my thirst for more of You. Disturb me when I have acquired success, only to lose my desire for excellence. Disturb me when I give up too soon and settle too far short of the goals You have set for my life. Amen. -Author Unknown

I need to be reminded...

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for You." 1Thess 5:16-18

I am on the verge of dousing the fire. But I have to get myself together. Everytime I sense the over-analyzing reflex starting again, I pray. And I guess I was reminded. I really want to see what's going to happen in the future. So each day my mindset is going to be: Let's see what will happen tomorrow, for sure it's gonna be better. Whatever happens, I believe that this is His Will for me. So I am giving it a shot. I am letting go, I am letting God.=)

Yup, one day at a time.

Theo 131: Love involves the Will. Love is a desire of sufficient intensity that is translated into action; it is both an intention and an action. It implies CHOICE - we choose to love.

***
Haay...saw Greenbelt this morning, the boys were putting Christmas lights already. I'm so excited for Christmas, such a happy season, my favorite part of the year. Now I wonder what's going to happen to me this Christmas.

2 am

For the past couple of months, I’ve been eating in CYMA twice a week on average. But for some reason I was there for FOUR times this week. The waiters probably figured that I really love their food, despite the lousy reservation service and the long line of waiting whenever I go there. So tonight is a special night, CYMA asked for my name FOR THE FIRST TIME and then surprised me and my friend Rica by giving us a free desert. It’s this really warm chocolate cake, molten on the inside and served with ice cream (ala mode), caramel syrup, and a hefty sprinkle of confectioner’s sugar for that final touch. I tell you it’s divine. The infusion of flavors inside my mouth when I first had a taste of it…hmmm….heaven…

Wish I had a cam with me so I could’ve shared a photo. But my dad lost our trusty Sony 5.1 megapixel black digicam last Sunday in Universal Studios. Heck.

So here I am on my bed, connected in the cyberspace and writing my thoughts at 2 am. Sigh. If anyone can have an opportunity to open my mind and take a good look inside, you’d probably notice that the wheels of this well-oiled machine are working overtime. Yes…I think I’m becoming an expert in this Fire Prevention Program that I’ve employed since 2004. The skills are enhanced in every experience, but I know, deep down, that in every disappointment is the HOPE that it’s going to be BETTER the next time around.

I wonder how many ‘next times’ there will be, and how many fires will I have to contend with.

What I really want to do, if you may ask, is to park all these rules and SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

You think I should go for it? Who says YES?

So this is officially a spontaneous sober declaration of my semi exhausted mind (and probably heart…)

ALL IN.

PS: I wonder if I should believe in it whenever I do this. I might change my mind in the morning, when the wheels are revved up and in tip top condition again.
We’ll see.